My mind is literally turning into goo.... I am so sleepy... The day is so slow... Or i guess there's still 3 hours more to go...

I do my best to keep myself busy. But when i saw what i have to read, i was like, "Again... Translating them in my mind... Grace, wake up! Do something!" But when i look at it, my mind goes blank, *beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep*, just as if my heart stopped beating and my brainwaves ceased to exist.

It's nice and quiet. I'm alone. I'm tempted to sleep. I'm tempted to read something else. I'm tempted to leave early. In short, I'm tempted to do something else. I need inspiration, i need to push myself to do something, ehem, productive. Yet as you can see....

Just a few days ago, i was filled with discontent. I was sad/depressed, whatever you can call it, and i just can't wait for the day to end so that i can unwind and rest my heart and mind from all my complaints in this life. Of course, the truth is, you can either carry it all day or just let it go fly off somewhere else. For me, it comes and goes as it pleases... And i can let it be at times, but usually, i'll end up thinking about it, as i stare out onto space, at moving objects and a variety of other visually catchy things, especially in my memories - sucked back into my own world in my own mind.

I pound against the walls. The spring of emotion continues to gush all sorts of feelings in me. There is no way for it to get out. It seems to overflow. Full, to the brim. How do you open up? In my silence, i try to push that stream of emotion yet all it does is aggravate things and the more the emotions push back at me. I feel heavy, from feeling full. I just want to smash my head so that they can all come trickling or gushing out. It doesn't matter how fast, as long as they get out. My heart cries, yet no tears flow from my eyes.

If only i can tear myself into two so that i can fly away into the sky. Into the eternal blue expanse. I've always enjoyed the feeling of flying in peace, of riding horses that gallop fast and the wind passing through me. Such a peaceful feeling. Have you ever tried sitting alone in silence, and letting the passing breeze caress your face? The sound of the wind seems to whisper silently, helping you rest, lulling you into sleep. If we can just take time to do so.

I'm still here... Sitting by the computer.... Looking at the reading stuff again.... and time seemed to only move by a fraction of 6 minutes....

What the heck... back to "work"...