Yes, a part of me tells me that i should go back to writing.... Just thought of a "poem" last night - and the words were just flowing out of my mind. It felt right, even if the poem was grim...

Though i wonder if i am going the right direction now... I am starting to doubt myself again, yes... But i do so want to be free, to fight for what i want, to feel that feeling inside me that i am just soaring as i do what i enjoy, be where i enjoy, be with the person i enjoy being with... Do i follow my heart and soul, or do i follow my mind? Do i even still make sense? Do i want to think of the distant or the immediate future? What will indeed make me happy? Is what i am working towards for really good for me? I don't think i am losing myself.... Or do i? i'm always afraid of losing who i love, what i love...

I hide that... i love to sing, i love to dance(tap, even if i don't even dance well), i love to write, i love to ride a horse, i love to fly, i love to drive, i love to just watch the clouds float by. i love to read, i love to just love, i love to protect, i love to listen, i love to talk. i love to hum, i love to talk to myself... i love to lose myself into something that i deeply care for, i love the blue skies, i love pain(yes, in some way i do). I love the truth, i love nobility, i love chivalry. i love mystery, i love danger, i love adventures, i love spontaneity. i love drama, i love romance, i love sentimental things. i love to laugh, and i cherish the fact that i can cry... i love nature, i love trips, i love lounging around. i love sleeping, i love eating, i love dining. i love something new, i love... i love... i know that i love a lot of things....

do i really love myself? hiding myself, hiding the things i love, hiding the people i love...