Sunday, March 25, 2012

The Heart of My Beloved

Ever since i met you, i have watched you closely, lovingly.  How can I look farther away from you? But in the end, I did so, too. You taught me to. And it started bringing changes into my life.  Meeting you, I've changed year by year.  You taught my heart and soul to expand, to grow, to broaden - much more than I did in the years that preceded.

Each year since I met you, you have been a very important part of me - whether we were near or far from each other.  Despite time and distance from each other, you've kept me close to your heart.  You have always been in my heart too.

My heart began to loosen up, and I learned that I can love more people.  I realize that love can overflow, and you'll never run out of it.  I have began loving more people, opening myself, letting them in.  These slowly made my life take more color.  I may still be guarded, but to those that I've opened up to and learned to trust, I began to slowly feel free.  From my own cage, I have let myself out.  It didn't hurt at all. It actually feels good to be me.

Every moment that we get to spend with each other feels so calm and peaceful.  Just being together and being around you, no matter what we are doing, has always been enough.  As long as I'm with you, everything is just perfectly right.  There's nothing i have to worry about.  Everything is enough, just right.  I feel that I don't have to be anybody else, because just being me have always been enough for you. I always don't want the day to end, because I don't want to separate from you.  I just realized today that if that is so, life wouldn't move on, and I wouldn't be able to make more memories with you if not a day starts anew.  Year after year, I am glad.  So many memories and moments, even the most precious and most personal ones, you have shared with me.  I am so happy to be part of all these.  So many firsts that you have shared with me, I can still remember clearly. The first heartbeats, the first image, the touch of the hand from the womb. I can still feel, hear, see everything - experiencing them all over again.  It's something that can't be replicated.  Something i treasure.  So many more.

To be valued, to be cherished.  To be accepted, and know that you belong no matter what.  You have always made it a point to make the people who matter to you feel that.

Your Heart, my Beloved, is the very reason everybody loves you.

Your love for us, always made us feel special.  Whoever we may be.

How can i not want to make you feel so special, when you really are one special person to me, too?

You have never stopped loving, and we haven't stopped too.

Your love reaches us, and stays with us.

Your Heart, my Beloved, has always been a blessing to all of us around you.

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Travel is not just taken for the relaxation of mind and body. 

Rather, it is a opportunity, if taken with great care and deep heart, that helps us to expand ourselves and understand the humanity that we are slowly forgetting : we are part of each other, not enemies. That in understanding and taking time to get to know others - to see and to experience firsthand - we expand our souls to include others in our grand dream instead of excluding each other and retaining the cycle of war in all levels of being.

Saturday, March 17, 2012

A Reminder for Life

Outward perfection doesn't always mean wholeness and wellness within.

Outward imperfection doesn't always mean there is lack and disease within.

Nobody is perfect.  Perfection always rest in how we choose to see everything.  For even the most imperfect series of events may well be the perfect experience that we can and may ever have. Even broken pieces can help make something whole, and together with other broken pieces, even create something new and beautiful altogether.

i wish to cry for all those whose voices are not heard, for those whose souls cannot cry another drop because tears have run dry, for those that remained silent because of fear, for those whose broken lives forever sealed them shut from the world, for those whose heart,mind and soul chained in darkness.

In our highly-civilized world, so much discriminate acts of anger, hate, revenge, and inequality we inflict upon one another.  the higher one goes through the social class - those with greatest power and resources to influence change - do nothing.  the downtrodden fight their way back by force, yet swindled of their peace in the end.  a lot of us in the middle choose to stay there.  i am guilty of that as well.

i wish to be one of the voices speaking out... reaching out...  touching hearts, minds and souls...  changing lives....  sharing dreams....  spreading hope....  bringing people together... in peace and towards peace, and towards and into Love - greater than us that we have so much of it that the only way to live more is to give more of Love.

To remove borders and boundaries... to loosen the griphold.

how do we change a world?

i cried.  deeply within myself, i feel a pain, a hurt, a longing.  how do i quell such a deep sadness?

Monday, March 05, 2012

Writing a story is not rushed. A story is captured into the soul and expressed into words.

Life lives by the same principle too - it is lived fully by capturing and making the best and the most out of moments, chances, opportunities and experiences.

Sunday, March 04, 2012

when i see people hurting the people that they love, i find myself scared. i have the same capability to hurt others too.

even the people we love the most - they are the ones we usually hurt the deepest.  more so because they are very much a big part of who we are.  yet the effect doesn't end there, we just don't see how it affects a lot more others in a bigger or more interconnected nature.

to fight for those who can't speak for themselves - the powerless, the down-trodden, the hurt, the sick.  yet i also feel so powerless against all those already in power.  why can't they realize that their decisions affect more and more people every moment they make a decision for others?  I've seen this in others; I've seen this in myself.  it would have a been a very peaceful world had we not let greed and pride get the better of us.

the wars being fought left and right nowadays, i wish they would all stop.  reasons are so muddled up already, passed on from generation to generation.  instead of releasing the pain, they propagate and enlarge it and even creating and adding something new.  instead of being able to breath freely, we contract in anger and fear.  always on the defensive, never ever able to be who we are, losing ourselves, fighting with others and with our very selves.

if we would all just take the time to listen to each other and understand each other, we would better understand others and ourselves. this statement has been said many times, but most of the time never done.  in such a world such us ours, billions upon billions, each with a voice.  and imagine the whole universe, possibly inhabited by more and more galaxies. Everybody wants to be heard. Everybody wants to be acknowledged.  Everybody wants to be loved and cherished.  the basis of this longing, i realized deep in myself, is Love.  Just that.

Love. Belonging. Being. Creating. Sharing. Receiving. Acknowledging. and back to Love.

i still hold to the ideal that integrity, humility, kindness, wisdom, courage, strength and altruism still lives in all of us, each of us capable of contributing to the greater good in our own ways.

and when i see children, i still pray and hope that their hearts will grow with love, as they live each day and moment as we all do.  Despite all the traumas and painful experiences that they live through, that they still find in themselves Love and their own Voice, Fire and Being.  That they won't live to hurt others back anymore, but rather, set themselves free from the suffering of anger and pain, and live their lives more fully - without delusion and confusion - with clarity, peace and stability.

i still dream this for humanity.

i still dream that i am capable and can do something to help humanity.    

May i courageously rise up, taking each step of my chosen path and calling.

Thursday, March 01, 2012

My inner longing grows more and more painful daily.

i usually write differently, but today, i told myself, "i will start writing for myself.  Not for anyone anymore, not for anyone at all, but first and foremost for me."  i've always written my thoughts out, yes, but there has always been a part of me thinking of what other people will think. i end up writing something that wants to please others.  so in the end, i end that piece of writing too happy, too hopeful, too sad, too needy.

i did do some writing last year.  i had a central idea, but it ended up being written left and right. it became a book of sorts. but then, it also contains a lot of my innermost thoughts and silents moments.  we call most of them secrets, but it is, in the end,just a hush-hush way of saying "the real me".  i can barely call it a book, actually. yes, there are chapters -which are just a page or two long.  some don't even reach half a page.  i stopped when i felt that nothing will come out of it, because people won't even see it as a book.  i know that deep inside i want to continue it.  but right now, i am not rushing to finish it right away. i can finish it.  i can transform it from what i thought it be so, to something else that i really want it to be.  i forget that it's okay to change.  i may lose some of what i originally wanted, probably because i can't really reach for them, but then, i might be able to reach closer to something else that i've always really wanted but never gave myself the chance to do so.  i've been wanting to share it with a friend or two.  sent it to one - but never got a word about it.  have another friend in mind, but i dare not reveal it to her - well not now, not yet.

and i even have another book in mind.  about my world - five worlds of mine actually - all in one Present. My Real-Life/Reality/Awake world, My Dream World, My World of Imagination, My World of What I Thought the World is, My World of What I Understood Life and all else to be. Well, getting them written down here is a start. i'll think about how it will go about at another time.  no rush.

at least i am writing once again. it has really been a long, long time, my Friend.

now, off to sync new songs to my ipod, get some work done tomorrow morning, by going to sleep right after i finish looking for my ipod.