Saturday, August 28, 2010

Living Truly Free

i can't describe the scenery from deep within my soul,
as great painters do.
i can't reach the highest and lowest range of tones,
as great singers do.
Barely at all, with my writing,
am i able to truly express what's been bothering my soul.

Hiding behind all pretenses.
Repressing all truth.
Fear of discovery.
Fear of being found.

I walk emptily into the world,
constantly searching for my path.
Walking each dark and lonely road,
stumped and questioning myself and the Universe still.

Along these paths,
i met countless different people.
I am truly grateful,
For they made my journey worthwhile.

Yet a voice within my soul
remains unheard.
A Love still unrequited...
A Being Caged in its open home - Myself.

My Heart remains close...
Hoping to break free yet hiding within.
My Soul Caged in my Physical Body
Staring at the sky hoping to soar free.

A Love in my Heart,
So Great and So Selfish,
It breaks my Being,
Shattering all over...
Over and over again...

Craving for attention
Craving for truth
Craving for discovery
Craving to be set free...

Even my love is unrequited.
A never-ending cycle.
repressed, unanswered.
Locked In.

I will always be incomplete,
constantly searching,
Banging each door of "opportunity"
Walking each path of "chance".

My Eyes and My Heart are Clouded and Blinded.
Grasping for an answer,
Clawing on empty space,
Creating a gap.

Hanging on to dear life,
Teetering atop highest expectations...
Falling on and on within the deep abyss of Uncertainty.
Losing oneself, enveloping oneself with the numbing darkness.

empty. Barren.
withered. dying.
Floating. aimless.
Dark. Lost.

Grating at the very doors that locks it in:
Constant Paranoia and Fear
Rejection, Expulsion,
Being an outcast and ending up alone.

We are Foolish!
Foolish for Lying to Ourselves!
Complicating our lives
With the intricate web of deception...
How Foolish and Dumb of us!

I envy those who live out their True Selves.
Risking it all - loneliness, rejection and more.
Their Hearts, Souls and Beings shatter, as Reality would have it.
Yet they Remain True to Themselves.
Broken yet True.
Instead of Perfect yet Deceptive.
Bonded to Reality,
They are not free from the hardships of Life
and the suffering of Living it,
But free from any lies.
Each one of us carries a scar -
a Scar we are afraid to show.
A scar we keep hidden.
The beauty of their Scarred Life Is that they don't hide it at all.
No life is perfect.
But it becomes perfect once we see Ourselves and Become Our Own.

Broken up in pieces,
i've done my best to mend myself.
Still hoping that one day,
i'll find my courage to no longer deny -
my Heart that loves truly
my Soul that lives freely
my Mind that rests peacefully
my Being that radiates brightly and completely.
No longer denying what and who I am
Who I Truly Am.

No more hiding
No more excuses
No more keeping safe.
No more denial...

To express what is truly in my heart.
To express what i really want to say.
To express the Truth.
To express the Depth and Beauty of our Soul and Being.
To Manifest the Timeless Wonder of the Beauty and Reality of all Souls.
And to finally rediscover and reclaim our Lost Humanity.
Lost Through Countless Lifetimes of Repression.
Found Through continued struggle for Release.

Be Free, Little One.
Don't Cry anymore because of Bitterness.
Cry because of Love, Joy and Humility...
Because you've been set free to be your Own.

Soar and Fly.