It's been a while. i know that i haven't written or blogged for a while is such a cliche. But then, that is the truth. Or rather, i haven't written as much because i have been holding myself back from doing so - to prevent myself from being taken away by my thoughts. (Though i did notice that my command of english vocabulary has slightly gone bad, sliding off from where it used to be.)
Aside from the daily grinding of thoughts out from my mind, it has been a relatively quiet "mind" day for me. i woke up late, like almost noon, and decided not to go out of the room until it was time for lunch. I started meditating again, after such a long time of doing it and stopping again. I realized, now and again, that i have to continue meditating. I had one of 'those' days just a few days back. The feeling that i also have to "ground" myself has been going through my mind most of the time. To ground myself to reality, yes, and to ground myself as well - to release all the "charge" that has been stuck in me - all the tension, constriction, fear and all else that i hold inside me that has been detrimental to my being. Imagine the concept of grounding in science, and you'll know what i mean.
by now, just when i am starting to be productive, the day is almost beginning to end. It's getting dark already. I guess it's just me. I took the day slowly, even taking a bath. haha :) but it was fun. i only get to do so once a week since i am always rushing to work in the mornings, meaning i have to be quick with whatever i have to do (and you must know that i am a late-riser; i just sleep like a baby and have gotten use to the alarm going off. I have around 4 alarms, but i still sleep through it all.).
So anyway, going to be productive for a while by doing some work. :) I do hope that i continue to write again from this point forward. i did love writing. and i guess i still do. holding back just made me think that i wasn't as good anymore, that i need not do so. why did i hold back? because i thought that it would just make me go insane and unstoppable with all my thoughts streaming and rushing out through my mind.