As of the moment, i feel like exploding. i already express myself a lot, but it seems like it is not enough. i try to prove myself capable of a lot of things, but it seems self-defeating most of the time because i always feel bad and guilty of all the things that i have done. i am tired, yet i can't truly stop. i try to let go everyday, but of course, i fall short each day. but thankfully, at times, i can see that even if i do, i am learning to stand back up again and be a little firmer with myself each day. well, most days, that is.

let us count this one as reaching out to expressing myself again. i actually had the urge to "draw" or just doodle, wondering ("wondering" being the word) if i'll be able to express myself that way. which is not usually the case because i usually end up doodling nonsense. :) haha :) even i don't know i was doodling. haha :) i usually have the urge to blog again, or write poems, but i usually cast it aside because i usually have these thoughts while driving or when i am about to sleep. and yes, at the lazy enough to just let it be and just sleep through it.

anyway, this is all for today.