Questions.... Wanderings... Wonderings.....

If you are given wings to fly,
where would you go?

If you are given riches to spend,
what will you do?

If you are given love,
how would you react?

If you want to give love,
who will you give it to?

If you are given time,
how, when, where and who will you spend it with?

If you are given peace,
would you ask for more?

Cute little kitten......

Hmmm... It's a usual monday morning, but yes, i wasn't late for work today. Drove myself over to work. Straight to the computer, doing stuff.

anyway, there is this little kitten that was thrown over to the office compound last week. it always kept on crying. when i first saw the kitten, it wasn't even able to walk around much, seemingly limping around due to some problem with the kitten's hind legs. after being taken cared by my coworkers, well, it grew stronger everyday and just today, it kept on climbing out of its makeshift cage. we have no other way but to just let it walk around in one of the rooms, the one with less people occupying the room.

anyway, it kept on following people. i think it is following anybody's feet. :) hehe :) i think that is all the kitten sees. :) hehe :) but it still kept crying. the kitten was really noisy the whole afternoon. i finally understood why Caroline told me that she was having a headache due to the cat's meowing. the meowing is really loud and you can hear it even if the door to the room is closed. i was in the same room today because i wanted quiet while reading articles that i have to choose for the upcoming newsletter publication. and boy, did i have a headache as well. it kept meowing and meowing. at times, it just wanted milk, to be fed. other than that, it would follow my feet around. the kitten's walking real fast now. well, at least it is getting its strength back.

after work hours, i kinda stayed behind for a while because my supervisor has to talk to me about some other details of the current publication's articles. after that, i was left for a while. the kitten just went over to my feet and just stayed by my feet. it sat down and then i guess it fell asleep. it was suddenly so quiet in the room. i just stayed there, not moving, not wanting to wake up the kitten - not just because it's now quiet, but also because it finally got to stop crying and got to rest. i realized during the afternoon that the kitten's behaviour of following our feet was because it thought our feet are its mother. i guess it felt safe with our feet. hehe :) that's how i felt when it quiet down as we stayed together in the room in silence. :) it felt nice though, to make a little kitten feel comfortable and safe. :) we just stayed together in silence until Caroline got back. :) hehe :) of course now, there's another set of feet to play with. :) haha :)

but as you observe the kitten, small enough that it can stand on all fours on your palm, sleeping and resting soundly and comfortably by one's feet makes me smile. :) i just observed it and kept it company as it finally got to stop crying and just rest. :) i felt somewhat happy and special that i was able to give the kitten some "quiet time" to rest. :) that even if i didn't know what it really wanted, i was able to keep the kitten company. :) hehe :) or probably the kitten just likes my white socks. :) hehe :) but still, you get my point. :)

i was kinda joking around. if the kitten still keeps coming over my feet, i have to give it a name. we were thinking of one. :) hehe :) i thought, how about Aja? :) well, i dunno how it is spelled in korean(hangul), but in chinese it is "加油!" or something like "go! you can do it! go go go!" in english. an encouragement. :) hehe :) well, in a way i feel it matches becuase it kept on going and got better and stronger. :) haha :) but i don't if the cat will respond to the name. hehe :) but i started referring to it as Aja. ;) hehe :) i just heard from Caroline that they fed the kitten some bread. ;) hehe :) she said that the kitten ate a lot - got a really healthy appetite then. :) hehe :) actually, there are lots of cats in the compound already. let's see, around 7, and sometimes with the additional strays they total to 10. most of the cats are sort of adopted by the office staff. haha :)

haha :) what a day! :) spending it with a kitten. :) hehe :) and in a way, for me, its a good thing that i wasn't tying any "knots" in myself today. :) aaahhhh.... :D

While i was alone....

i discovered that i wanted to be perfect
perfect for you
so that you wouldn't need anything else
wouldn't need anyone else for you.
and with that you moved away.
only to realize now
that you have accepted me for who i am
that you accepted me even when i was not perfect
you have accepted my good and my bad,
both together,
and there is not anything else that i should be proving to you.
in your eyes, and in your heart
you knew that i am already good enough
and that is why you don't understand why i can't just love myself.
i set up expectations on you
but the truth is, i also set up so high an expectation on me much more
for nobody can be perfect
we can only be us.
that is why i became afraid, because i can't get it right.
when all i need is to be at peace with myself,
with who i am, when being me
is just what real people like you
want to get to be with.
to be real, to be just me,
to be just at peace with ourselves.
that is what we aspire to be,
no need for control,
no need for masks,
no need to hide,
no need for fear.
only surrounded by love,
built with trust,
surrounded by acceptance and understanding.
for that is why friendships and relationships are strong.
because being who we are means the most.
and with that, we feel and are free.
free to still be who we are, free to be loved and to love.
no limitations, no pushing, no grasping
- and just be...