Struggling Existence

I struggle with my self....
with my very existence.
Am i not doing enough?
Is it alright to be content and comfortable?

My chest tightens.
Moments of beauty together with Thoughts of fear.
Am I enjoying myself too much?
Without thinking of what's to come tomorrow?

Blessed with a comfortable life.
Nothing more to worry about.
Except life itself -
how will i live it?
how will i survive on my own?

Trying to live as my heart wishes,
Yearning for more of my dreams to come true.
Yet am i really doing so?
Unable to speak up,
afraid to stand up for most of things.

Always searching for answers.
Yet i've known them all along.
Hoping to hear and see perfect answers.
But i am just disillusioning myself this way.

I won't deny - hope is there, and dreams do come true.
sometimes as i wished it to be, others not as we had expected it to be.
We all know that it all depends on these:
When will i decide to bring it and my heart into action?
When will i not be afraid to live, and be me?