My mom and my brother are on a trip in China. So it's just me and my dad at home. I have just been watching tv, sort of, and just surfing around in the virtual world we call the internet. As i stood up from the bed, my present position in life flashed into my mind.
"I am working in a non-profit organization, as i wanted. I am doing my best to help save the environment by not using the air conditioning unit, but use the electric fan instead as well as other stuff. I am driving myself around now. I don't have to worry about food and lodging. I have what i need. I am also getting to read a lot, download and watch movies, and watch tv whenever i want to. I don't really have to worry much at all about work once i am home. Even if it is hard to get out once in a while, i actually don't really have to worry about anything. My life is simply what it is right now.
Am I where I am supposed to be?
the past few years and what has just transpired from then and now seem to point that out to me. With all those experiences, deep in my heart, i know that i am where i am supposed to be. I have been learning from this experiences. and even up to know, drawing realizations and still drawing strength and courage from these experiences. Even my dreams have been pointing that out to me. Places that i dream of flash before me when it suddenly comes into view a few days, a few months, or sometimes a few years after.... I am sort of in a neutral and balanced plane right now. Emotion-wise, it is the same as well. Even if sometimes politics here and there mar my view of the world, i am still surrounded by loving people. When changes happen, i am surrounded by a loving environment. Wherever I go, I am taken cared of by people i care for, and i do my best to take care of them as well because i do care for them as well. So i wonder if it is time to move on or time to stay some more while i gather more strength, more courage, and more inner peace and stability. Will the opportunity show itself, when the time to move on has finally arrived? Deep inside, i try to feel for it, and pray that i be mindful. i also pray that i continue to learn and to continue to take things as they are, to make the most of these current experiences in the present, and to continue to open and broaden my heart, mind, body and soul to different emotions, views, experiences and realities. To learn more, to grow more, to evolve... to be more of my Self, for my Self and later on for others as well."
Deep in my heart, i still want to make a difference in the world. I want to help make a difference. I want to make things better for all of us. As to how, i still don't know. I want to share the goodness there is. Of course, as to the realities of life, i hope that we can learn to look at it from different angles but still be able to find some angles of similarities to connect to each other. As i used to say, "May our similarities bond us together, and may our differences strengthen this bond." Or it could be the other way around, "May our differences bond us together, and let our similarities strengthen this bond." I think the latter one is the right one. But the former can also be another way to come from.
We look and search for inner peace, but sometimes, it finds us on its own. When we least expect it, when we are not resisting it. I hope that this happens not because we grew tired of the world, but rather because we have achieved a new understanding that helps open our hearts, our eyes, our minds, our bodies and our souls to what is always there and has always been there.
There is nothing more that we need, because WE are more than what we need and much more.